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DISASTERMIND

by HALF MEASURES

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1.
Disarranged 02:14
Ambition: my lack of it, I feel I have nothing but me, I'm so lost. I am bored. Still going nowhere. Still wondering, can't feel a thing. I still don't know why, my lack of faith is scaring me. Lazy but skilled, cleaver and vain. Still yearning more hope is a war. Pessimistic: assuming what is worse. My lack of faith is scaring me. I feel so unmotivated. Why do I still tremble when I wonder of my future? Why do I feel useless when I think about the past? Like a basement cellar I feel cold and empty and alone. No one understands me, I ripped my credence to the bone. I don't understand who the fuck I am, more and more I forget, what brought me here again. Ambition: my lack of it, I feel I have nothing but me, I'm so lost. Disarranged.
2.
My Condition 02:05
Claustrophobic, thoughts intertwined, full confusion, a disaster of a mind. What if I am nothing? A faint blurring line. Question everything, between my thoughts and mind. (full confusion) It's such a daunting task, (a disaster) to find release. (mind is lost) Trying to find myself, (my condition) I won't let anger define me. I'm speaking in tongues. What am I referring too? Needless to say, I've fallen in love. Shattering my veins, I'm questioning everything, between my thoughts and sight. It comes with effort. Dedication comes with time. What am I referring to? What am I referring to? Cellulite, a fake poetry. My mind is a disaster.
3.
5 AM 02:55
Watching as the sun comes up, I'm thinking to myself, this evening was eventful, I'm reflecting on myself. I'm losing sleep all the time, but it's worth it in my mind. I'm losing hours days and nights. I'm feeling sick most of the time. Stuck in this dead end town. Selfish paths and hollow ground and I'm still searching for reason...Why I'm still around. It's five am and I'm still in the same place as I've always been. Still having trouble thinking as to why I'm here; hoping that a chance will hit me when it comes my way. This is not my home. It's not that I would rather be alone. I just need some time to figure it out on my own. What is now lost, will take me in return. Like everything, it's another lesson learned. I'm struggling to find my place in this world. Holding close what's dear to me. Even if I can't cope. My heart is lead, wanting to fade away.
4.
Laceration 02:44
Undisclosed, I'm yelling but I am still unseen. Total outcast, purely nothing. I feel I don't belong. I am stubborn as it gets. I feel buried at the knees and most of it is just broken dreams. My solitude, unworthy sympathy is worse than anything. I look at my reflection. Fucked in the head. Full dimension. Stuck on feeling wrong, I don't belong. Here is where I'm stuck, Always down on luck. My lacerations are getting deeper, getting wider. I'm fading as a person, I'm not the same as I use to be. My sadness always leeds to selfishness. I regret nothing, no one cares either way. I thought you'd be there but I was wrong. Wishful thinking got me nowhere, now I'm lost. Warm fluids running down, I am yelling out, but I've yet to here a sound. I thought you'd be there but I was wrong. (wrong) Undisclosed, I'm rotting out and I'm still alone. I will never be at peace. Here I lay, remaining still unseen. Full of broken dreams, purely nothing.
5.
Atelophobia 02:48
Worried of the absent. I'm lost inside the thoughts of anyone. Even if I wanted to, be a different person, I wouldn't have the mindset, to fake my way through oath. My Actions do, speak louder, than any word or obligations and sympathy. Feeling useless, I'm unsure with anything . I dont know, I'm still over thinking again. I've lost all of control, of myself and my regrets. My tongue is raw from the aggression of my teeth. I will never be satisfied. I've grown sore, my head is numbing, I'm still stuck. Mind is still dull. Hyperventilating, my head is always aching. Atelophobia, I've lost all comfort. My breaths are getting shorter, a passing day is over. My legs are quivering, I've lost all comfort, I don't know, I'm still over thinking again. I've lost all of control, of myself and my regrets. I feel my chest starting to cave in. My confidence is wearing thin.

credits

released April 17, 2015

Mixed / Mastered by Mike Whalen
Engineered by Corey McGee and Mike Whalen
Vocals- Mike Whalen
Guitars - Shane Varady
Bass, Vocals - Jeremy Studor
Drums - Pat Lauzier

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HALF MEASURES Timmins, Ontario

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